


"The Worst Thing about Possessing Dean Winchester"

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-22
Updated: 2006-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-08 06:20:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8833705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: A twist on the episode "Devil's Trap."  One of a "Five Ways that 'Devil's Trap' Didn't Happen" series.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

  
Author's notes: This fic goes off-canon with "Devil's Trap," and contains no spoilers for Season Two.  
  
A comment on **story warnings** : The NC-17 rating errs on the side of caution, but the fic has some slash (not underage) and disturbing content. I prefer not to put other details in the headers, but if you need something more specific before you read, click on the fic and go straight down to the bottom. There are additional notes there, after some spoiler space.

* * *

The first thing Sam did when he swung into the car was reach for the little pistol hidden in the glove compartment. Although neither of them liked to go unarmed these days—though what Dean liked was strictly academic—Sam left his weapon behind on research trips. University libraries, even in Texas, they’d found, still ban firearms, and the likelihood of getting caught and thrown out was greater than that of encountering a skinwalker disguised as a bleary-eyed econ major or a possessed graduate student dozing on a stack of bound journals. He didn’t much care for the omnipresent smell of silver, but it wasn’t as if it could harm him.

“Eleventh hour, little brother. Find anything?” he asked in Dean’s voice. _He_ couldn’t see anything notable in Sam’s clenched-jaw expression—Sam had been walking around with his jaw clenched so much that you’d think the boy had tetanus—but he felt some flicker of alertness from Dean before the damned irritant managed to suppress it. “You did,” he said.

Sam nodded, still clenched. “We need an isolated place. Another cabin would be good. And a lot of salt.”

He put the truck into gear. “What have you got?”

Sam flashed a piece of paper at him. “Basically, a devil’s trap powerful enough to hide a living soul. Won’t do us any good for killing it, but we should be able to ride out tonight without it finding us.”

“Seriously?”

He took the paper from Sam’s hand, stifling a grunt of surprise when he saw the design. Whatever book Sam had found had misidentified the protective circle, and it couldn’t possibly be effective anyway: over generations of recopying the runes had grown distorted and misshapen, and part of the drawing was lost entirely. Somewhere back in the sketch’s ancestry, though, someone had seen the real deal, and there was the remotest chance that someone with the right knowledge and resources could reconstruct it. _Note to self: burn Penn’s Rare Books Library, slaughter Religious Studies faculty._ Another errand for Dean to run.

No, he’d use someone else to run it. He couldn’t take much more of Dean.

“I’ll be damned,” he said for Sam’s benefit. “Are you sure it will work?”

Sam clenched some more and stared out the windshield. “No. But we’ve got nothing else.”

“We’re gone, dude,” he said, thinking how much Dean deserved to die just for making him use that form of address so often. “Now leaving the City of Brotherly Love.”

Sam’s upper lip twitched.

Dean snarled and beat futilely at his mind, and the worst thing about possessing Dean Winchester, really, was that he couldn’t hit the fucker when he got too annoying. Still, it’s a small mind that can’t find other ways to torment.

“Sammy,” he said as he navigated the truck toward the freeway. “I'm not going to let anything happen to you.”

Sam stopped clenching and staring and twitching, took in and let out a deep breath, and looked at him with those big, soft, brown eyes that always brought out Dean’s comically exploitable mama-bear instincts.

“I know.” But Sam still flinched when he reached out to grip his shoulder; Dean’s impotent— _that’s right, Dean, impotent_ —raging turned to anguished silence, and that was satisfying on multiple levels.

So was Sam’s latest discovery; he could go out with a nice touch of drama, which would be some compensation for the tedium the Winchester boys had inflicted on him in the past week. Though the ‘entire week’ thing was his fault, he admitted fairly. After he’d finished with John—and finished John off—he’d left the boys to their own devices, letting them believe they’d slipped out from under his radar while he attended to other business. Once it became clear, though, that they had stopped hunting and were criss-crossing the country, going from contact to contact and library to library, he had to head off the possibility that they’d find a way to shield themselves from his perception. So he followed the beacon that was Sam back to the two brothers and slipped into Dean to watch and wait.

Maybe he needn’t have bothered with the watching-and-waiting part. He’d wanted to avoid making the same mistake that he had with John, but Sam was at such a loss to recognize the Dean who appeared after their father’s death, the Dean who wouldn’t talk and couldn’t eat and didn’t even pretend to sleep, that Sam wouldn’t have seen anything suspicious in a thing that he did. Nonetheless, he spent a few days as a silent observer in Dean’s body, absorbing his thoughts and memories. He’d never before cared about Dean one way or another, except to note his utility in keeping Sam alive, but now it was a nice little bonus to soak in Dean’s despair, enjoy his frustration at Sam’s nurturing and hovering, and feed on his aching loneliness when he succeeded in shooing his brother away for a few hours. All the inactivity began to wear on him, however, and he was more than ready to bring his Dean-hosted vacation to an end the day Sam came up with something that could finally spur his brother into action.

“Hey,” Sam had said softly after returning from another library run. He took in without comment the closed curtains and the muffin that sat untouched where he’d left it that morning, next to the latte that he’d bought on the grounds that the milk at least had protein. Long since accustomed to the silence, he walked over to Dean’s chair in the darkest corner of the room.

“You doing okay, big brother?” he asked, putting his hand on the back of Dean’s neck and touching their foreheads together. He didn’t expect any answer to the question; the quasi-embrace was what served as the weather balloon. If Dean grumbled and shoved him away immediately, Sam knew he was on an upswing; if he waited a few seconds before grumbling and shoving, he was sinking into another trough.

He hadn’t noticed any difference in Sam’s voice or touch, but Dean looked up dully. “What is it, Sammy?”

“I need you to look at something.” Sam waited for Dean’s slight nod before laying some papers and photocopies out on the table. Dean flinched when he saw his father’s handwriting in among Sam’s notes; Sam’s hand fluttered as if to touch him again, and then stopped. “These were hidden in the truck.”

Frowning, Dean scanned over the photocopies of old fire marshals’ reports and new missing persons’ announcements, yellowed newsclippings of young bereaved husbands taped next to fresh ones of older bereft fathers, handwritten tables cross-referencing names and dates. He froze, crumpling the paper in his fist, when he came to the last page. It was blank except for the underlined date, “November 2.”

“Same date Mom died,” he said.

“And Jess,” Sam reminded him.

Dean looked at him apologetically. “Exactly six months after your birthday,” he sad, flipping back through the notes. “Were they all your age?”  
  
“They were all twenty-three, yeah. And they all went missing on the date of their births plus six months. I don’t know why that’s important, but it could explain why it’s left me alone since that night.” Sam piled up the papers, hiding the ones with their father’s handwriting from view in the middle of the stack. “Dean, I don’t think Dad wanted me to shoot hi—the demon for revenge.”

Dean flinched again. “November second is four days from now,” he said. Dread and adrenaline flooded his every cell—a welcome change from the lassitude of depression. He rubbed a hand over his mouth, thinking quickly. “Pack up, Sam. It moves through people, right? So we get on the road, we keep moving, and we don’t contact anyone until the third. Okay?”

It was the longest string of words he’d spoken since their father died. And once more damned if he could what Sam was thinking, but Dean snapped, “No, Sam. Absolutely not.”

“Dean.” Sam sat on the bed and looked at his brother with that annoying earnestness of his. “We have to. This isn’t about Jess anymore, it isn’t about Mom, it isn’t about”—his voice hitched—“about Dad. It’s not about revenge. It’s about more and more people dying if we don’t stop it.”

“And how do you think we’ll do that, Sammy?” Dean’s anger and fear were perfect: they’d make him that much easier to take. “The Colt’s gone, Dad’s gone, what the hell are we going to do?”

“The Colt was one way to kill it. We don’t know it was the only way.” Sam ratcheted up the earnestness and added a touch of resolute conviction. “We’ll leave that afternoon, but I want to go through the libraries here until then. There’s a chance I’ll find something there that we sure as hell won’t find driving around at random. Please, Dean.”

The conviction, earnestness, and pleading did it: Dean agreed. He’d possessed him as soon as Sam went out to forage for something his brother would eat. It was the perfect time to take him: he could savor every moment of Dean’s mounting despair as the date inevitably approached. He let Sam think that Dean’s renewed appetite had come from the reinvigorating effects of knowing there was an immediate danger to fight, and that night…Well, it had been a risk, but he was so bored that he set about discovering whether Sam really would do anything for his brother.

Surprisingly, the answer was ‘yes.’

**

Dean reached new heights of obnoxiousness as they headed out to their hiding place. The boy didn’t have the force of will his father did—he probably would’ve developed it now that he was out from under John’s thumb, but that point was moot—but he was a much greater aggravation. John would turn inward, mustering his strength before making an attack and retreating again. Dean, though, continually blustered, taunted, and probed for weaknesses. Mid-drive he seized upon a new method to annoy—singing at the top of his mental lungs. He sent back a promise to carve the lyrics into Sammy’s precious skin, and either because Dean believed him or because Sam’s skin was a touchy subject, the threat bought some blessed—not literally, of course—peace for the rest of the trip.

“Another one of Dad’s holing-up places,” he explained as they pulled into the drive of the isolated cabin. Sam blinked, jerking out of a reverie, and nodded as if he hadn’t thought to wonder how Dean knew about the place. Losing his edge, not that John had ever succeeded in honing Sam to the same edge that he did his brother.

The lodge’s isolation was perfect, but he regretted not picking someplace smaller when Sam insisted that he dump salt not merely over the cabin’s door and windows, but in a circle around the entire damn thing. He actually did it, too—the Winchesters weren’t the only ones who deluded themselves into thinking they could be a threat to him, and it’d be a nice touch to give another self-styled hunter a tip that sent him off to find one boy missing and the other’s mutilated body inside several rings of protective circles.

When he got back, Sam was sitting cross-legged inside the circle with his head bowed. It looked like he was actually praying with their mother’s rosary. Book-smart, Sam was. No sense at all, no comprehension of how the world really works.

“It’s done,” he said. “You okay?” Not that he cared much, but it seemed the thing to ask.

Sam nodded, holding up a finger, and murmured his way through the last decade. “Yeah,” he said when he’d finished.

“Good.” He watched Sam put away the rosary, and then went with another round of repetitious, but always effective, jabbing at Dean. “It’ll be okay, Sam,” he said. “I promised, remember? Nothing’s going to hurt you while I’m alive.”

Sam looked up, all gooey-eyed. “I know.”

Dean made another tedious effort to batter his way out, and he was hit by a sudden foreboding that Sam was about to launch into one of his awkward declarations of fraternal gratitude. Enough was enough—he marched into the circle to haul Sam off his ass and get started. Sam leveraged himself up with the arm he offered, then yanked forward hard. Stumbling, he felt a hot, stinging slash across his forearm as Sam twisted out of his grasp and out of the circle.

“What the hell?” he snarled. He regained his footing in time to see Sam shaking the knife like an aspergillum, spattering blood over the runes inked into the circle.

Runes that were different from the design Sam had shown him.

He looked down at his feet, where Sam had been sitting. Runes that hadn’t been on the design at all.

“Son of a _bitch_ ,” he said.

And the worst thing about possessing Dean Winchester was that he couldn’t hit the fucker when he gloated.

“Not bad,” he said in Dean’s most careless voice. “Guess you found something in the library after all.”

Sam went for his backpack, keeping his body half-turned so that he could watch him without looking at him directly, and kept his mouth shut.

“It took you long enough to figure out it was me, though,” he said, kneeling down to examine the sigils. “Dean guessed about your father in ten minutes. He’s not surprised, mind you, that it took you this long to look past your own nose. But he’s still hurt.”

“I knew after that night,” Sam said quietly.

He hadn’t expected Sam to answer at all. This could be good. “Which night, Sammy? The night Dean hammered you unconscious?”

Sam set his jaw— _again_ —and didn’t answer. He kept going, relishing the chance to torment the boy openly.

“That first time, Sammy? I think it was sweet. Dean thinks it’s the only time in your life that you did something just for him. Didn’t take too long for it to become all about Sammy, but even so, it was a nice gesture.”

And it had been so easy: ‘ _Sammy, I need...just this one thing. Just this once. Please._ ’ At first Sam drew back, shocked and reluctant, but when he sank to his knees, it felt like a lot more than fraternal duty. He’d eased Sam into it, running Dean’s fingers through his hair and muttering first the good-natured insults that substituted for expressions of approval and praise when Sam was an adolescent and needed a father, and then, softly enough that Sam wouldn’t be sure he’d heard them, the endearments Dean had used when they were very young and he was trying to be the mother they both needed. Sam had cringed from the sickness, but once he’d given in…well, Sam had youth on his side and he had centuries of experience on his. It had gone on for hours, and he’d made sure Sam loved every dirty minute of it.

“It was a little more contact with you than I really wanted, Sammy, but it was worth it to see John Winchester’s boy yowling like a cat in heat with his own brother’s tongue up his ass and begging for the fuck of his life.” Sam flinched, and he pushed on, “And it was, wasn’t it? The fuck of your life. You’ll never be able to get it out of your head.”

Sam winced again, and dug into his backpack. He studied the runes more thoroughly. The circle was breakable, but not easily. Especially not with Dean fighting him in earnest.

“So, what’re you gonna do, try an exorcism?” he asked as Sam began inking another pattern around the one confining him. “Waste of your time, Sam. And your brother. It won’t kill me.”

A heartbeat passed, and Sam lifted his head to look him straight in the eye. “It killed your daughter,” the Winchester boys said in unison.

He snarled, jerking around to turn his back to Sam, nostrils flaring as he brought under control the annoying adrenal responses that came with emotion when he possessed these creatures.

“If there’s ever a ritual that could destroy me,” he said, turning around and sounding as neutral as he could after that embarrassing display of weakness, “it’s been lost for a thousand years.”

“Not lost,” Sam answered, kneeling just outside the circle. “Rare.”

He felt an unfamiliar, unpleasant shiver of anxiety as Sam sketched an intricate pattern on the floor, and tried to bring the conversation back under control. “All right, Sam,” he said, going for the obvious, “you know what I want.”

“Yes,” Sam responded quietly.

He turned with Sam as he moved around the circle, and he did _not_ like the looks of that design. “Well? You know the drill: you come with me and Dean walks out of here, goes on with his pathetic life. I won’t touch him.”

Sam didn’t answer.

“Do we have a deal?” he pushed.

Sam kept his head bowed as he began painting over the penciled lines with black ink. “No deal.”

“Seriously?” he asked, genuinely surprised. “Ouch. That’s cold. After everything he’s done for you.”

“You’re lying.” Sam’s hand faltered, and he gripped the brush tighter. “This isn’t about me.”

“Huh.” He raised an eyebrow even though Sam wasn’t watching, because he’d picked up Dean’s stupid habits while inhabiting him. “That’s the first time Dean’s ever heard you say _that_.”

Sam shook his head. “You’ll take me if you can get me, but you care more about getting revenge on him.” He took a deep breath. “No matter what I do, he won’t leave here alive.”

“What, you’re not even going to try to save him?” He flashed Sam a shark-toothed grin when he looked up again. “You’re right, he won’t. And you want to know the saddest thing about Dean, Sammy-boy? You’re going to run, leave him to die alone, and he’s _glad_. He’s trying to figure out how much time he can buy you.”

“I’m not going to leave him,” Sam told him.

He noticed that Sam didn’t challenge the ‘dying’ part, and he had a very bad feeling that Sam knew his design was more than a binding spell.

“What tipped you off?” he asked casually.

Sam’s face flooded a dull brick-red. “The last time.”

“Ah. The last time.” He smirked. Credit where credit was due—Dean had a good range of smirks. “When you went from blushing virgin to screaming for your big brother to fuck you harder?”

And screaming more than that. Sam had put up an unexpected resistance when he tried to get to the actual fucking part of the evening—‘ _This is sick, Dean, this is too far_ ’—but by then he’d been stroked, licked, and fingered into a near-Pavlovian reaction to Dean’s touch there. A little tongue action—it was Dean’s tongue, what did he care?—and Sam was more than ready. And once he had Sam on his hands and knees, rocking with the slow, relentless thrusts of Dean’s cock, it was so easy for a few words to prompt him, a few questions to get him to babble what he wanted Dean to hear—‘ _Dean, Dean, I’m burning up, I need it, I’m on fire, Dean, I’m gonna_ die _if you don’t…._ ’ Dean had retreated to mulish silence in whatever corner of his brain was still left to him, but he couldn’t escape the feel of his own firm hand holding Sam in place when his writhing turned to near-struggling or the sound of his own voice whispering ‘ _It’s okay, Sammy, trust me, I’ll take care of you, little brother,_ ’ and he’d felt every last shiver of orgasm when he’d let go just as Sam’s cries stilled and his body went limp.

“Yeah.” Sam looked down again. “It lacked subtlety.”  
  
He was going to tear Sam’s tongue out just on principle, but he was right. “So does Dean,” he commented, a point that Sam did not contest as he began marking a pentagram around his symbols.

And no, he didn’t like the looks of that at _all_.

“ _He’s going to burn your sorry ass,_ ” Dean chortled.

He swatted the little shit down again and went back to tormenting Sam. “Dean was disgusted, you know. Repulsed. Not just by the incest, but by the rest of it too.” He colored his tone with the disapproval Sam had heard so often from John, but never from his adored older brother. “He thought you were more of a man than that. And think of your father, Sam. He never much cared what you did as long as it didn’t interfere with the Winchesters’ futile little quest, but this? It would kill him.” _If I hadn’t done it already_ , he left unspoken.

Sam jerked his shaking hand away from his runes just in time to keep from splattering ink on the design, and he pressed his advantage. “Speaking of John Winchester: remember that _unsubtle_ moment when you were whining about the burning and begging for it to stop? That’s how your father died. The burning was literal, though. Dean was thinking of that as he came, right when you were passing out.”

Sam turned away, retching, and he let Dean’s near-military posture slouch in annoyance. “So weak. Dean would have come in here and tried to shut me up instead of puking in a corner. His own fault for always protecting you when John tried to toughen you up.”

He grinned at Sam’s back, knowing he could hear the smile in his voice. “Ever wonder why he did that? Pathetic as he is, he always took care of you because he wanted someone to love him. And look how you turned out. God, he’s disappointed in you.”

Sam turned back around, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “Don’t bother.”

“Too tough for you to hear?” he taunted.

Sam gave him a disgusted look. “You can’t hurt him like that. You can’t feed me some crap like that and make him think I believe it.”

“Sammy-boy, you are seriously underestimating his self-esteem issues.”

Sam looked into his eyes but somehow past _him_ , and he wondered for the first time if Sam could see his brother. Maybe, in his disgust at Sam’s whiny refusal to develop his gifts, he’d underestimated their strength.

“Let’s get this out of the way,” Sam said. “Dad stuck Dean with me way too much, and sometimes I was a total brat, and he thinks that sometimes I’m _still_ a total brat. It hurt him like hell when I left, he thinks Dad fucked up some but I still owe him more respect, and he feels guilty as hell about it, but he’s a little bit relieved that Dad died because that fucked up the last of our lives so bad that he thinks I wouldn’t leave him after that.”

He was breathing harder. “My dad and me, there was unfinished business there. There isn’t with Dean. You’re not going to hurt him by feeding me some lie and making him think I believe it,” he repeated, “and you’re not going to hurt me by telling me what I already know.”

Irked, he seized on the one exploitable thing in Sam’s little speech. “He _thinks_ you wouldn’t leave him? Sounds like you would.”

“I would’ve stayed as long as he needed. And then…” Sam did the looking through his eyes thing again. “I wasn’t going to live in the Impala forever, but I swear, man, we would’ve found something that worked for both of us.”

Sam knelt back down to his design, moving with more purpose, as if he was steeling himself to wrap things up. “He believes me, and I’m not going through the rest of it for your fucking entertainment.”

And the hell of it was, the little bastard was right.

He watched Sam finish the drawing, trepidation mounting with each line, and tried another tack. “Forgot to wish you a happy birthday, Sammy. Twenty-three and a half.” He cocked Dean’s head inquiringly. “You know that you’ve never been the hunter that your father was. Or Dean. Without them, do you think you’ll see twenty-four?”

Sam shrugged indifferently. “No,” he said, eliciting a satisfying inward howl from Dean. “How many of your children do you think I’ll take out first? Their numbers aren’t legion, you know. Not as many as I expected, even.”

“What would you know about it?” he asked sharply.

Sam dug a set of squat black candles out of his bag, and oh yes, he knew what he was doing. It had to be a bluff: Sam knew that while he would still be bound within the circle, he could leave Dean before the ritual was complete. And then he _was_ going to break the holding spell somehow, because damned if he was going to stay here, trapped inside a ring of discounted Halloween candles.

“The ones on Dad’s list—the ones like me.” Sam moved around the circle, arranging the candles. “Some of them showed up dead, some of them disappeared for good. Maybe there’s something about us that lets us fight you off, or maybe you killed them because they just got too annoying to hold on to. Bet Dean’s driving you crazy right now, isn’t he?” A smile ghosted across Sam’s face, and he swore internally that one way or another, that’d be the last smile Sam ever gave anyone. “But the ones who were never found aren’t dead. They chose to go with you.”

“Huh,” he said, lifting an eyebrow not out of habit, but to torment Sam with the familiar mannerism. “Not bad, Sammy. You’re smarter than your father. Smarter than Dean, too, but that’s not saying much, is it?”

“Maybe.” Sam focused his eyes on him. “He always was a better shot, though.”

It was _subtle_ , he’d give the boy that. He snarled, finally abandoning the pretense of unconcern as Sam set down the final candle and squared his shoulders, looking pale and sick.

“You can trap me here,” he growled, “but _he’s_ the one you’ll destroy. And it’ll take hours, Sam. He’ll die screaming and begging you to make it stop.”

“No,” Sam said softly. “He won’t.”

He stepped up to the very edge of the circle, almost touching the invisible wall protecting him, and once more looked past the yellow eyes glowing from his brother’s face. The little bear-cub was gone; the Sam that stood there instead was resolute, grim, and broken.

“Dean...” Sam whispered.

He shifted his focus inward as Dean made another futile attempt to escape, and felt a shiver in the air as Sam crossed the plane between them. Ice-cold lips brushed his forehead, cool steel kissed his ear, and the bullet fired into Dean’s brain burned as white-hot as hellfire.

He staggered, stunned, and Sam broke his fall. As Sam clutched at him, choking out every inane banality he had heard whispered to a hundred beloved dying—‘ _I’m sorry, Dean, I love you, it’s okay, big brother, Dad’s waiting and I won’t be long, so sorry, Dean, I love you, I love you_ ’—the impossible happened: he lost his grip on Dean’s life-force. By the time Sam had sunk to the floor with his brother sprawled across his lap, Dean’s soul had slipped free.

Enraged, he gathered himself together to abandon Dean’s body and this maudlin fraternal pietà—and something yanked him back. It was the bullet; he could feel it now. Blessed by holy women and men from a half-dozen faiths, it tugged at him, holding him like a magnet holds iron filings. He was trapped in Dean’s useless corpse.

No. Not a corpse. Dean’s heart was still beating, his chest was still rising and falling in shallow breaths. The bullet that had ricocheted through his skull had scrambled the centers of intellect and emotion, the thoughts and memories and spirit that were _Dean_ , like so many eggs. But it had left undamaged the knots and tangles of nerves that controlled the vital functions; he was inhabiting not a corpse, but a paralyzed living body. He was _ensouling_ the body, and Sam Winchester, that whining whelp of a jumped-up ghost chaser, had found what he’d thought lost for a thousand years—a way to obliterate a soul.

Sam hugged him, gasping in a few ragged breaths, and then cupped his cheek and searched his face. Grimly, he waited for some last mawkish gesture as Sam lowered him to the floor—a final kiss on the forehead, perhaps, and closing Dean’s eyes as he arranged him in some semblance of sleep. Instead, Sam’s face hardened into an expression worthy of his father as he leaned forward to speak directly into his ear.

“What Jessica and my mom felt. What my dad did. What you said Dean would feel when he burned alive...” Sam’s words were clipped and vicious. “When they say someone like _this_ doesn’t feel pain, what they really mean is, there’s no consciousness there to perceive it.”

Sam stood up and roughly rolled him onto his side. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but you won’t make it there.”

He stared at the front point of the pentagram, Sam’s parting shot ringing in his ears. He couldn’t do a damn thing but watch as the flames sprang up when Sam began reading out the ritual, watch them flow along the complex design to form a latticework around him, watch them glint off Dean’s amulet as they rushed in to consume him.

And somewhere, Dean Winchester was gloating.

*****

 

**Further author’s notes:**  
The other four stories in this series are gen. They are: [Dead Man's Switch](http://blueiris08.livejournal.com/5876.html) (that one's a little experimental), "[Intercession](http://blueiris08.livejournal.com/6036.html)," "[One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest](http://blueiris08.livejournal.com/14488.html)," and "[Standoff](http://blueiris08.livejournal.com/19752.html)."  
  
You'll find more of my fic, both slash and gen, on [my lj](http://blueiris08.livejournal.com).

For the record, I’ve got nothing against the University of Pennsylvania’s faculty. Penn is a great school with strengths in Religious Studies, History, and Folklore—a combination that, as near as I can tell, means that it’s the most likely place in the country to have the resources Sam would need. In Texas, the boys were at the University of Texas, Austin, which has a fantastic classics program, but I don’t know that it’s as strong in the medieval period. I’m not saying I _do_ know, mind you, so don’t decide where to apply to grad school based on my say-so. The boys have also visited the several universities in the Bay Area, Columbia, UCLA, the University of Michigan, Yale (using a faked letter from Stanford Library requesting access for Sam), and went back to their own hometown of Lawrence. It was a really busy month or so. 

 

Why am I rambling on about this, you ask? Spoiler space, so that the people who want to see the promised additional warnings before reading the story can avoid seeing its end. I need to allow plenty of space for people who will have a lot of text on their page because they set their browsers to use small type. They're probably the same people who set up their ljs in those itty-bitty little fonts. Man, I hate that. Drives me crazy when I have to bump my browser text size up to the “My God, woman, are you blind?” setting before I can read someone’s fic.  
  
Okay. Have we left enough space yet?

**Additional story warnings** :  
This fic contains not-100%-consensual sex between an unwitting Sam and Demon!Dean, as well as character death.


End file.
